When Everything Falls
by writer0306
Summary: Set after LS. With new challenges and dangers to face, no longer shadow-kissed Rose's limits are tested...But what happens when trouble is closer than anyone realizes? And suddenly everyone is in danger...and not everyone can survive?
1. The Incident

**I am so sorry! I swear I never forgot about you...I just got busy! And then I was working on a different story that meant a lot to me... THE POINT IS I am sorry...but better late than never, right?**

**PLEASE READ:**** This chapter contains some *spoilers* of Bloodlines. I don't remember the story perfectly, but a general idea is included. Consider yourself warned.**

**This is shorter, but I wanted to get the new story introduced first. I hope you enjoy! Reviews will help me get the next chapter out faster (hopefully!)**

**[All rights belong to Richelle Mead...]**

* * *

><p><span>WHEN EVERYTHING FALLS<span>

I was back in the hospital wing.

It seemed that ever since my recovery from the gunshot wound, life had kept finding ways to make me pay. First it was a fractured rib during sparring practice. Then it was a broken wrist incurred from a Strigoi attack. Now it was a twisted ankle from sheer clumsiness.

I had tried to keep Lissa from healing me as much as possible. I hadn't allowed her to tend to the rib, which had been a bad idea; not only was it horribly painful, but because of the injury, it caused my lapse during which the Strigoi broke my wrist. Injury on top of injury, I finally relented and let Lissa embrace the spirit.

Now she was being called back to the injury wing to heal my sprained ankle so that I wouldn't be at all impaired for tonight's queenly gala.

Lissa hustled in, worry etched all over her bright face, but she let out an exhalation of relief as she saw me healthy, minus my foot.

"Thank God," she said, collapsing next to me on the mattress. "I was worried sick. They told me that you were injured and needed my assistance immediately, but they wouldn't tell me what was wrong. I was half-expecting something drastic."

I gave her a sheepish smile. "Naw, just my own clumsiness."

Lissa leveled me with a cautious look. "Please tell me this doesn't have something to do with Dimitri."

I blanched, glancing at the guardian who had accompanied her into the room standing post at the door. The guardian kept a blank face, keeping the façade that he wasn't listening, but I knew better. He was hearing every word, and there was a good chance that it would be the next joke going around the coffee table tomorrow morning.

"No!" I said too loudly. "Gross. Cut it out."

Lissa exhaled slowly. "Then what happened?"

I sighed. "I tripped and fell down the stairs."

Lissa glared at me. "You're kidding."

I shook my head shamefacedly. "No. I was going too fast, because I was trying to get to my grilled cheese before it burned—"

Lissa held up her hand abruptly, cutting me off. "No more. I don't want to hear it." She dropped her hand to my black-and-blue foot and closed her eyes. "Just relax," she said soothingly.

I felt the heat spreading through my body. The uncertainty I harbored over Lissa's wellbeing slowly faded as the spirit coursed through me, erasing the pain and dark feelings. For a moment I was blinded by contentment, ignoring everything else that I should have worried about.

Then the healing completed, and I was instantly worried about Lissa.

"How do you feel?" I asked rapidly, leaning towards her. Her eyes were slightly glassy, but not vacant, and she had lost a bit of color. Her pale complexion was quickly returning to normal, however, and her eyes darkened in annoyance at my reaction.

"I'm _fine,_" she snapped. "I should be asking _you _that, considering _you _were the one with the broken foot!"

"_Sprained ankle_," I corrected. "And I'm just worried about the darkness, Liss. This is the first time you've had to handle it on your own."

Lissa huffed. Her green eyes were wide and pleading, and when she spoke, she sounded like a child. "Yes, but I _am _strong enough. Give me a chance to prove it."

I bit the inside of my cheek to hold back any comments. I knew that Lissa was right—she _needed _that chance to prove herself—but releasing the reins and taking a giant step back was harder than it sounded.

The silence between us was heavy, simply because neither of us knew how to fill it. Finally, the guardian standing at the door cleared his throat.

"Your Majesty?" Lissa nodded, giving him permission to continue. "Princess Jill wishes to speak with you before tonight's gala."

I watched Lissa carefully, gauging her reaction. At the sound of her newfound sister's name, she blanched and went uncomfortably rigid.

"Of course," she said tightly, forcing a smile. "Tell Jill to meet me in the study, and we can speak there."

The guardian relayed Lissa's message through an earpiece, then went back to standing stoically.

Lissa turned to me. It was times like these when I especially missed the bond; I was at a complete and total loss as to what was going through her mind. Lissa's relationship with Jill was troubled, to say the least, and it didn't help that she refused to discuss any aspect of the sisterhood.

"Will you walk with me?" she asked, anxiety riddled in her voice.

"Of course," I said with a reassuring smile. We got up together, and I nodded briefly at the guardian as we passed him. Alone in the wide, marble halls, I whispered, "She probably just has a fashion question to run by you, you know. Stop expecting World War III."

Lissa flushed, but covered it with a sharp glare my way. "I'm not expecting the next World War," she objected, "I'm simply getting used to having a sister giving requests."

Bond or no bond, I knew that was a lie. At the very least, Lissa still harbored unresolved feelings about Jill's parentage. Jill was the illegitimate child of Lissa's father, a man whom Lissa had spent her entire life adoring in both life and death. When the truth about Jill emerged, Lissa had gone through an emotional roller coaster ride, questioning everything she knew about her family. Allegations against her older brother Andre's reputation earlier in our high school careers had rocked the boat initially…now this? It didn't take a rocket scientist to know that Lissa was having trouble adjusting to this new perspective of her family.

We wound around a few more mazes and finally ended up in the study. I wasn't going to lie; I didn't know squat about getting around. I got lost more often than I liked to admit, being a badass guardian and all.

Jill was waiting for us in the study, fidgeting awkwardly with a chain around her neck.

I greeted her with a kind smile and a hug, while Lissa hung back stiffly. A few seconds passed where nothing was said or done, and then Lissa finally settled into a seat. Jill and I followed suit.

It seemed as though neither of the sisters were going to speak at first. I braced myself for intervention, but finally Jill found her voice. I was both surprised and proud of the young gawky girl.

"Your Majesty," she began.

"Lissa," I interjected, shooting a warning look at my friend, who was sending me daggers.

"Lissa," Jill amended cautiously. "Thank you for meeting me so quickly. I had a question I wanted to broach to you before you left for Lehigh. With the gala tonight and your departure within the next few days, now seemed to be the only chance for me to possibly get an answer—"

"Jill," Lissa interrupted. Jill and I both froze, unsure of what was to happen next. Lissa smiled, though, and said, "Just get to your point."

Jill swallowed thickly, regaining composure, and said with a strength that seemed likely to crumble at the first sight of Lissa's disagreement, "I would like to return home to stay with my mother."

I was the first to fill the silence that followed. "That's not safe, Jill."

Lissa looked dismayed. "Jill, you're my only blood relative." I noticed how she dodged intimate references, like "family" or "sister." "You can't be far from Court." As an afterthought, she added, "It puts you in too much danger."

Jill's face dropped, and her brows knit together. I was unsure whether she was angry or upset, but didn't dare question it in front of Lissa. The girls' relationship was shaky enough as it was.

"Okay," she said stiffly. "Thank you for your time." Her long legs carried her to the exit briskly, and she exited without turning back.

As the door shut behind her, Lissa turned to face me with a miffed expression. "How rude!" she exclaimed in frustration. "I am the queen, you know, and there's a certain etiquette that needs to be followed."

I cocked an eyebrow at her. "She's your _sister_." I crossed my arms over my chest. "You don't make _me _bow."

"That's different," Lissa objected, though a flush spread throughout her cheeks. She rose and started for the door.

"Uh-huh," I said sarcastically.

Lissa opened the door and was greeted by another guardian. As soon as he saw me, he stepped aside and let me follow Lissa alone. I was about to bring up Jill again when my cell phone jingled. I had a missed call, and the caller left a voicemail. I smiled as I heard the recorded voice on the other end.

Lissa knew instantly. "Go," she said with a smile. "I'll see you tonight at the gala. Can you be to my wing forty-five minutes before?"

I promised, and then took off running towards my personal wing. (Being friends with the Queen had some major benefits!)

I unlocked the door and bolted inside, only to find it empty. I bit my lip to refrain from pouting, but then an idea struck me. I ran up to my bedroom and rummaged through my dresser until I found exactly what I was looking for.

Twenty minutes later, I heard the front door click open, and a deep, silky voice floating through the echoing halls. I could only hear his light footsteps thanks to my guardian training. I laid across our mattress on my side, propping my head up on my hand, and splayed my legs out casually. The sheer fabric spread a little, and I felt the flush of anticipation flood to my cheeks as the door creaked open.

"Hey there, Comrade." I said seductively. I watched his eyes darken as he drank in the sight before him.

"Shouldn't you be with Lissa?" he murmured, but his voice sounded far away. He was suddenly in front of me, his long legs carrying him across the room in a matter of milliseconds. He leaned against the bed, taking my face in his hands, and put his warm lips to mine. I found it difficult to answer.

"I was," I said between kisses. Dimitri moved his mouth down to my collarbone. "Then I got your message and she sent me away."

He kept his lips against my skin. "I'll have to thank her for that."

Dimitri gently pushed me down onto my back, bracing himself above me. One hand tangled in my hair while the other roamed beneath the flimsy lace of the lingerie. His fingers were chilly yet hot against my skin.

The taste of his mouth drew me in, kept me hooked, and left me wanting more. I wrapped myself around him, relishing his strength and warmth. He smelled of wind and nature, and I wanted to breathe him in unendingly.

Somewhere along the way, my slight clothing disappeared. Dimitri's hands wound around my waist, gripping the soft flesh tightly. I knotted my hands in the fabric of his shirt, pulling him toward me, closing the gap between us. Dimitri moved his lips down the length of my body, tracing a path with kisses until he reached my navel.

I was writhing in pleasure, heat flooding my body, and anticipation mounting quickly when it all paused as Dimitri sat up.

"Where are your bruises?" he asked suddenly, though his voice was still husky.

"What do you mean?" My voice was still in my throat, choked up and half-gone.

"Your wounds from the attack." He sat up straighter, analyzing my naked body. Normally when he took in my appearance, I felt sexy and hot. This time, there was nothing romantic about his gaze. He was studying me scientifically. "They're all gone."

I hadn't told him about my ankle this morning, and hadn't planned on sharing it, either. He and Lissa had both become extremely overprotective since the shooting, and I had taken it upon myself to shield both of them from my sheer clumsiness.

"Lissa healed me," I said, finding no way out of this one.

Dimitri's eyes narrowed. He sat up straighter, putting even more distance between us. "Why did you need healing?"

I groaned, rolling my eyes. "I tripped over my own feet this morning and sprained my ankle. It's not a big deal, Comrade."

He gave me a disapproving look. "It's a big deal to me."

I pushed myself up on my elbows and pecked his lips. "It's _settled_," I insisted, plopping back down on the bed. "Now can we get back to where we were?"

He dipped his lips down to my collarbone. "If you insist."

* * *

><p>It all happened so fast.<p>

Even with my guardian training, I had trouble recalling the events. It happened so quickly, I felt like I blinked once and it was over. The only memory it left was pain and suffering in its wake, and I knew no one had made it out unscathed.

Lissa and Christian were safe but rattled. Dimitri and I had been fast reacting and we removed the threat instantly, though Lissa had had to heal some gruesome gashes and what she could of a concussion. But Adrian and Jill…

Lissa sat numbly, barely blinking, hunched over on her bed. Christian sat beside her, tear tracks streaking his cheeks. They weren't speaking. Dimitri was in the corner, standing stiffly, his body in prime condition. Lissa had insisted on healing the two of us, though we could have survived without her doing as much as she had.

I entered the room slowly. All eyes flew to me. Dimitri drank in my health, and I saw him relax infinitesimally, despite the fact that he had been sitting next to me while Lissa healed me. Lissa's wide eyes bore into me, her face paler than usual, her body trembling under the sudden weight of her gown. It was Christian who asked, "How is she?"

I swallowed before saying, "She's alive."

Lissa collapsed, expelling a breath that she hadn't known she'd been holding. I wanted to be inside her head right then, hear what was rushing through her overwhelmed mind, and I wanted to ensure that she was okay. She would insist that she was, but I didn't believe her.

"But?" Christian prompted. He had heard the hesitation that Lissa had bypassed.

I kept my gaze firmly on Lissa. I needed to know how she would respond to this news. "She's bound now. To Adrian."

Lissa froze, her eyes locked on the ground. Christian inhaled sharply, raking a hand through his unruly hair. Even Dimitri looked saddened.

I tried to keep the flashbacks that kept harassing my memory at bay, blocking out the vague yet sharp recollections. I didn't want to have nightmares about tonight.

Finally Lissa looked up at me. "She needs to leave Court. She needs to go somewhere safe and away from me."

Christian looked at Lissa in disbelief. "She needs to be here to be _safe_—"

"She was attacked here, and look at her now." Lissa asserted firmly. "I thought Court was the safest place for her, too. But…this happened to her because she was here, with me." My charge brought her gaze back to me. "Jill needs to be placed into some kind of protection, far away, under an alias and under heavy security—"

"You can't hole her up like a prisoner," Christian interjected heatedly. "Stop thinking of her as an asset to the throne and think of her as a _person_, Lissa. She's your _sister_!"

Even though I had been thinking the same thing, I didn't want this to drive a wedge between the two of them. Lissa needed Christian to be her rock now more than ever, since our bond had been severed.

"She won't be holed up like a prisoner," Dimitri said suddenly. He was on the same page I was, and was doing me a favor by stepping in as the middle man. They would take his suggestion better any way, because there was no way he was biased in this situation. "She can be placed elsewhere, under an alias and with plenty of guardians, so that she isn't in immediate danger here. Maybe distance is the right answer."

"Maybe she can go back to her mother—" Christian offered.

"Too predictable," I said. "If she really is in danger, her mother's house will be the first target."

"If she really is shadow-kissed, she'll be safe enough. Send Adrian with her." Christian snapped.

Lissa glared at him. I leveled him with a dark stare. "Being shadow-kissed doesn't make you invincible," I whispered. "And it comes at a high price."

Christian realized the path he had gone down, and apologized. "I just don't want her life to be ruined," he said.

"No one wanted this for her," I agreed. "But we just have to work with it now."

"Look into secure locations for her," Lissa said. "Find somewhere that she'll like, Rose." Her eyes were sad. "I owe that much to her."

I agreed to make the necessary arrangements. I asked if Lissa wanted to go see her, but she shook her head adamantly.

"No," she declared. "Just tell her that I wish her a safe trip…and—and I'm sorry."

I sighed in defeat, but carried the message to Jill anyway.

Curled up in bed, her pale face streaked with blood and tears that she hadn't yet washed away, Jill glared at me, the messenger, and said bitterly, "Tell her I'm sorry too."

* * *

><p><strong>P.S. - could anyone tell me where Jill is relocated to in Bloodlines? I don't actually remember. If no one else remembers either, that's fine, I'll make it up!<strong>


	2. The Darkness

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed my first chapter! It's a great motivator. And thank you for the responses to my question - it helped! I requested the book at the library so that I can look up my own data from now on, but in the meantime THANK YOU! :)**

**It's another shorter chapter, but I wanted to get this out to you ASAP! I'm introducing more important stuff... it's pertinent, I promise...**

**Please review! I love them :)**

* * *

><p>I will be the first to tell you that being shadow-kissed actually sucks.<p>

Which is why I knew that right now, relocating Jill wasn't actually the most important task on the agenda. The most important thing was making sure she was going to be okay. And I took it upon myself to help her with this massive transition.

The first few times I had tried to help her, she hadn't responded. She had curled into the fetal position and had blocked me out of her mind completely. It seemed like I was talking to a brick wall. By the third time, though, she seemed to have taken her first step toward acceptance.

We were sitting side-by-side on her bed, criss-cross-applesauce and all, when she suddenly asked, "What's it like, being shadow-kissed? I mean, I know that now I'll be able to read Adrian's mind and everything, but what else is there?"

I clenched my jaw. Was now an appropriate time to tell her the truth? That being shadow-kissed was dangerous and difficult and a really bad deal? Or was now the time to sugarcoat it and tell her that being shadow-kissed was an adjustment, and that the adjustment was going to take a long while to get used to?

I was studying tall, lanky Jill, with her big, innocent eyes and her hunched shoulders, and I realized that it wasn't my call to make. I didn't deserve to withhold information, whether it would protect her or not. This was her life now. She needed to know.

"It sucks," I said bluntly. "There are times when you lose yourself. The spirit takes over the host, and then it's your job to take the darkness away so that they don't destroy themselves." I paused. "At least, it was my job to protect Lissa."

Jill jerked to face me, urgency in her face. "I will do the same for Adrian!"

I forced myself to keep my guardian mask in place. Honestly, I hadn't seen that one coming. I knew she and Adrian had bonded, but I had no idea that they had the type of relationship that Lissa and I had. Slowly, I nodded. "It's a noble idea, but it's hell to carry through."

Jill put her arms around herself. "I'm scared."

I nodded again. "I understand. It will probably be that way for a while. I don't know when you'll be comfortable again in your own shoes." I bit my lip. I had wanted to find a smoother segue, but I was on a time restraint. The first couple of times I had tried to connect with Jill, I had met a strong resistance. I didn't want to throw the relocation on her then. But now time had dissipated, and her departure was in just a few hours. There were no more delays.

An elite group of guardians, myself included, had finally decided that Palm Springs, California, was an ideal location for the young dhampir. It was far enough away that Court's threats wouldn't affect her, and it was simple enough to organize a protective issue there. We had called in Sydney Sage, the alchemist who had helped prove my innocence, to keep a watchful eye on Jill.

Jill would be safe there. She would be happy there.

"Jill, it was decided that your safety is in jeopardy here." She looked up at me curiously. I continued, remembering my duty to Lissa. "You're being relocated to California for a while."

Jill's young face twisted in disgust. "What?" she cried, scrambling away from me. "You're sending me across the country to some crazy new place? Why not just send me back to my mom? You know I wanted to go back to her!"

"Jill, it's not safe there."

She kept talking over me, screaming. "She can protect me! I don't want this! I don't want any of this!"

I closed my eyes, bracing myself. I steeled myself, and when I opened my eyes, my voice was hard. "You don't always get what you want. This is what it is, and now you have to deal with it. Your safety depends on this relocation."

"I won't go. You can't make me!"

"It's Queen's orders," I snapped, pulling Lissa's rank forcefully. "You don't have a choice in this!"

Jill collapsed to her knees, sobbing loudly and powerfully. Biting back a defeated sigh, I walked over and gathered her in my arms. The poor kid was going through hell. I hated to twist the knife. Instead, I tried to soften the blow.

"I'm sorry, Jill. I know this wasn't your choice. You don't _deserve _any of this. But you know that it's our job to keep you safe, and that's what we're going to do, until one of our dying breaths." The sobs quieted slightly. "Go ahead and pack your stuff. The plane will be ready to go in just a few hours."

I stood, ready to depart, but she suddenly perked to attention. Her eyes were glassy and her cheeks were tearstained. "Adrian!" she suddenly chirped.

I spun to look behind me, but he wasn't there. I turned back with a frown, about to object, when I heard the footsteps.

_Their bond._

The door opened smoothly.

"What's going on here?"

I was instantly uncomfortable. The last time I had spoken to Adrian had been when I had told him that I had chosen Dimitri, and he had essentially told me to go to hell.

I wanted to fix things with him, but I didn't know how. I also didn't think he was ready for amends. I saw the alcohol obsession, the resumed smoking, heard the never-ending acerbic comments, knew that it was all a cover for a bout of depression. I just didn't know what to do about it.

"They're kicking me out of Court," Jill wailed.

I quickly turned to face him, defensively objecting: "Hey, it's not _kicking_, it's _relocating_, and it's for her own safety."

Adrian barely spared me a second glance. He stayed focused on Jill and Jill only. "They can't do that."

"They _are_," Jill said, sniffling and scraping at her wet cheeks. "I'm going to California, apparently." She climbed awkwardly to her feet and grabbed a strewn sweater from the floor on her way up. Expelling another grieving sob, she shakily folded the sweater and set it on the bed. "The plane leaves in a few hours."

She suddenly jerked to face Adrian. "You can't!" she exclaimed. "Everything you love is here." She then realized what she had just said and clapped her hand over her mouth embarrassedly.

I looked back at Adrian, wondering what his thoughts had told Jill.

Without meeting my gaze once, he turned and strode back the way he came. Jill lurched after him, shrieking, "Adrian, no! You don't have to do this!"

"Where are you going?" I demanded, stalking after him. "Where is he going?" I repeated to Jill, who was close on my heels.

She finally stopped, and I stopped with her, letting Adrian disappear around the corner. "He's coming."

"Back?"

She looked at me scornfully. "To _California._"

"Oh."

It felt strange, knowing that I was watching Adrian leave, too. I wanted to stop him, but I knew that, first, he wouldn't listen, and, second, he needed the space. So instead of complaining, I put on my big girl panties and saluted Jill before following Adrian's footsteps out of Jill's wing.

* * *

><p>DPOV<p>

Rose agreed to supervise the transition to Palm Springs. She was going to fly over with the detail and check out Jill's new place, make sure all of the kinks and little things were worked out and sufficient. I wasn't looking forward to losing any more time with her, considering her own departure to Lehigh wasn't too far in the future, but I didn't say a word of that as I kissed her goodbye and wished her well.

"Be safe," I murmured in her ear that morning as she climbed out of bed, her naked body enticing me all over again. In fact, we had more fun in the shower, but it didn't numb the distress within me as I watched her walk out the door.

Later that evening, I had a friendly, casual dinner with Christian and Lissa. It was lacking without Rose, but the conversation never faltered and we kept the laughs going.

As I said my goodbyes, I noticed Lissa shaking. I began to ask her if she wanted a blanket or a cup of tea, but stopped myself. Instead, I asked for Christian to walk with me.

"How is Lissa?" I asked my charge. "She seems…"

"More fragile," he supplied without missing a beat. "Tired. Angry. Overwhelmed."

"Any of the above," I said, surprised at Christian's serenity.

A defeated sigh escaped his lips. His shoulders hunched in exhaustion. He stopped and turned to face me. "She's been different ever since the bond was severed. I never knew just how much she depended on Rose to get her through a single day." Christian rubbed his forehead roughly. "It got worse after the attack. I can't pinpoint it, can't really explain what it is that's different. I can't necessarily say that the darkness is overtaking her, because I don't think it is. I think it's stress and fear and…_agony_, even, over losing Rose."

I frowned in confusion. Everything Christian had explained had made sense, up until his last statement. "She didn't lose Rose," I countered, sounding more defensive than I had meant to.

"Not like that," he amended. "But the bond. It kept them close, like family, maybe even closer than family—and then that just went away. And then they both rose up to this God status—well, not really, because people are still wary of Rose, but you know what I mean—and now there's so much more to handle. Lissa is in charge of the entire vampire population and Rose's guardian duties have extended past Lissa alone…" he trailed off, seeming to realize he had started rambling. He let out a tired laugh, humorless, and raised weary eyes to meet mine. "I sound crazy, don't I?"

"No," I said evenly. "And I would tell you if you did."

He laughed again, but this time with a little more joy. "Rose has rubbed off on you, huh? I guess I should be scared of that."

I cracked a smile of my own. "No worries."

I was lying alone in my bed that night when I felt the need to hear Rose's voice. It was always hard to be away from her after what we had gone through—coming so close to losing her had made me regret, deeply and remorselessly, every moment we spent apart. Even though it was her job to be away right now, and it would be her job to be with Lissa at Lehigh for the next several months, I ached without her.

I glanced at my clock. The time delay gave me opportunity. I reached over and pulled my cell phone from the bedside table. I pressed her speed dial and waited through several long tones before her voicemail clicked on. I felt my heart sink slightly, but I at least got to hear the recording.

I closed the phone and put it on my chest. I was wide awake now, getting sucked back into the past, that horrible moment when I saw Roza fall to the ground, blood pooling around her unmoving body, knowing that I'd spent so long pushing her away, this was my punishment—

My phone chirped. I snatched it up, barking my name, anxiously waiting to hear Rose's mellifluous laugh on the other end. Rather than Roza's, however, it was Christian's voice that rang through.

"Dimitri," he said, "I need your help." I heard the barely contained urgency in his voice.

I sat up. "I'll be right there."

Five minutes later, Christian was in front of me, raking his fingers through his hair. "It's the darkness. Lissa's going crazy. She's in the bathroom—" I was gone before he could finish.

I remembered, back when Rose and I had first met, Rose waking me in the middle of the night, demanding that we tend to Lissa instantly. I knew from her sudden seriousness—the party girl, the rebel, the unpredictable, unreliable girl gone so quickly—that this was not a joke, and that Lissa needed help immediately. I hadn't gotten the full story, and most of the drama was hidden from Guardian Petrov and myself, but I understood from then on out that Lissa was at risk.

I tried the knob. It was locked. I knocked. "Your Majesty," I began, but then thought about her old aversion to authority and tried to be more personal: "Lissa, it's Dimitri. Please open the door."

"No," came a choked-up squeak from inside. "I'm fine. Go away."

"Christian is worried about you," I tried to reason with her. "Please come out."

"I said no!" she suddenly screamed, her voice changing completely.

I was startled only for a second, and then I thought about Rose and what she would do in this situation. She wouldn't argue, I realized. She would break the door down and force her friend to calm down.

So I channeled the love of my life and busted the door in. Lissa was on the floor, blood everywhere—on her clothes, on the floor, on the porcelain tub beside her. Her face was almost unrecognizable.

I slid in front of her, propelled by the slick puddle of blood, grabbing her wrists. She dropped the culprit, a small razor blade, at the surprise of my force.

I murmured in Russian, curses and prayers all at the same time. I applied towels to the gashes, trying to stop the running blood. _God, how much had she already lost?_ The pool of blood was huge, like a giant can of crimson paint had accidentally toppled over.

I heard Christian rush to the doorway. I was too focused to tell him to leave. Instead, he witnessed the entire scene. He left within the next second, but I heard him vomiting before putting enough distance between us.

My mind was on turbo, trying to sort through all of the emergency actions I needed to take. The best thing would be to take Lissa to the hospital, but as Queen, an action like this could be devastating to her standing. This entire scandal had to be kept quiet, handled quickly and efficiently, and forgotten about.

"Christian," I called. I heard his footsteps stumbling a moment later, and I instructed him: "Find a feeder. Get Lissa a change of clothes. Go as fast as you can, and be quiet about the whole thing."

Christian's response was steadier than I had expected: "Don't worry; this isn't going any farther than this room."

As he disappeared around the corner, Lissa brought glassy eyes to meet mine. "I told you to stay away," she mumbled. "Why are you here?"

"Because you're the Queen," I said, fighting to keep my voice even. "And Rose's best friend. And it's not fair for you to play this game any more."

There was a spark in her eyes. "It's not a game!"

I was proud that I kept my voice cool, because I was enraged. "Rose used to be able to find you, stop you before you went too far. It gave you your rush without endangering your life. But the game is over now, Lissa. Rose doesn't have the bond anymore. She can't monitor you like that anymore. If you play games like this now, you're gambling with your life."

Lissa's head drooped to the side. "The darkness…it hurts." A moment passed, tension slowly easing in the room as the initial panic subsided, and then she looked back at me. Her eyes were clear, despite the pallor of her skin and the dullness in her voice. "Don't tell Rose about this."

I started, but she talked over me in that quiet voice, channeling the tone she used when she invoked her "Queen" status. "It was a mistake. I see that now. You've made me see that. It won't happen again, so there's no reason to worry her." She twisted her hand over mine. "You know that she's just as fragile as I am. I can't give her any more reasons to freak out over me, just like she understands the reasons I freak out over her." She swallowed, and a bubble of blood oozed out onto the soaked towel covering her wounds. "I promise this is the end. Just don't say a word about it."

I wasn't going to listen to her. I was going to refuse, insist that Rose know the truth. The two of them were going to Lehigh together—they couldn't be holding back secrets. This was too big to keep from Rose—as Lissa's guardian, if nothing else. But I bit my tongue as I realized it wasn't my choice. Lissa was serious about Rose not finding out—if she had to order me as Queen to keep silent, she would. I couldn't cross that.

I squeezed my eyes shut. I was suddenly exhausted, and I wanted nothing more than to be back in my bed, dreaming about the short time before Roza came home to me.

"I don't like it," I said. "I'm not happy about it. Rose needs to know, at least as your guardian." Lissa's eyes darkened. "I won't tell her. But it's up to you to."

"I told you, it won't happen again!"

Christian suddenly reappeared, a dazed-looking woman by his side and a change of sweatpants and a sweatshirt in his hands. I stepped aside, letting the feeder replace me, and waited until Lissa had begun to suck to turn back to my charge.

His face was drawn. "I don't understand."

I didn't give him an answer, because, frankly, neither did I. Was the darkness really that bad? If so, why wouldn't she reach out for help? "She doesn't want Rose to know."

Christian's eyes went wide. Obviously he hadn't seen that one coming. "What? Why not?"

I shrugged, exhaustion finally settling into my bones. I was forgetting my place as a guardian to a Royal, so I quickly straightened my posture and evened out my expression. "I don't think it's a good idea. Rose is the only one who understands what the darkness is like, and how to sequester it."

Christian was quiet for a moment. His eyes were past me, over my shoulder to where the woman he loved was hunched on the floor. I could hear the feeder's small moans of pleasure, but I refused to cringe at the sound.

"If Lissa doesn't want Rose to know, then Rose won't know."

I gaped. "But—if nothing else, Rose _needs _to know as her guardian! Keeping that information quiet could be putting them into danger—"

"_Rose won't find out about this_," he repeated firmly, his icy blue eyes boring menacingly into mine.

I gritted my teeth, clenched my fists in frustration, but could do no more. It was my part of my job to keep their secrets. I gave a brisk nod, and then said, "Her Majesty should be fine now. After she's finished with the feeder, have her shower and change, and keep the bandage clean. She should heal quickly."

Christian noticed my attitude, and nodded to dismiss me. As I walked away, I heard him whisper, "I am sorry about this, Dimitri," though I wasn't sure if he had meant for me to catch it.

Seven sweet steps away from my bed, my phone _ding_ed with a new message. I checked it, barely registering the words.

_Hey babe. I know it's late over there, ergo the text instead of the call. Just checking in with you. How's Lissa? Everything's good on my end. Palm Springs is great. The school is secure and Jill looks like she's going to be happy here. Even Adrian seems content. Ish. I'll talk to you sometime tomorrow, and then I'll be home soon after that! Love you. R._

I wanted to call just to hear her voice, despite the ridiculous hour, but as soon as my head hit the pillow, my world went black.

* * *

><p><strong>Lissa's not looking too good. Problems in paradise ahead?<strong>


	3. The Secret

**I know an apology is pointless, because it's been MONTHS and that's just unacceptable, but I'll offer one anyway. I'm really sorry guys. **

**This is a shorter chapter than I would have liked to post, but it's a filler. We're going to Lehigh soon, so hopefully there will be more exciting things to come. :)**

**Please review. I know that I've lost credibility since it took so long since last time, but so far, WEF isn't getting the love I had been hoping for (unlike Black Rose, which was phenomenal) and my confidence and excitement is kind of taking a hit.**

* * *

><p>CHAPTER 3<p>

I was glad to be back home.

Seeing Sydney again had been nice, and I was glad that she would be there to help out. She was a good influence—as long as she didn't revert back to her anti-vampire ways—and that would be good for Jill.

It had been tough to watch Jill fade into the background, when I was itching to stay by her side and help her adjust. Luckily, Eddie had volunteered to accompany her, and he was the next best guardian to stay with her, other than myself.

Being in such close proximity to Adrian had been uncomfortable to say the least, but it was unavoidable. He and Jill were now a package deal.

Being with Abe again was refreshing. As much as I hated to admit it, I missed the old man. He had business in Russia that was keeping him from permanently residing at Court, but he and I had agreed to keep in touch, and I knew he was never too far out of the loop, no matter how many miles away he was.

But as successful as my little trip had been, I had had a relentless yearning to get back to my loved ones.

So when I burst through the door, looking for my boyfriend, I was disappointed to see that he was absent. I only battled for a moment, trying to decide whether or not I should search him down, but then accepted that it was not the "guardian" thing to do, and that I had to resume my duty, first, and then obsess over my personal life. So instead, I went in search of my best friend.

She was in the courtyard, wearing a heavy sweater over her jeans. Her hair was pulled back into a sloppy ponytail and she was free of makeup. It was a very laid back look, one I hadn't seen in a long time. In a way, it was reassuring. Lissa had taken a break from Queen-duty and was comfortable again, at least for a moment.

"Miss me?"

She spun around, attacking me full-force without even thinking about it. Only when she pulled back a second later did she reply, "Miss you? It felt like the world was ending."

I laughed. "We're still rotating, I promise. So what did I miss?"

Lissa's face didn't change. "Nothing much. Christian and I had dinner with Dimitri one night, which was nice. Other than that, nothing special happened."

I pouted. "Oh come on, even I have better stories than that!"

Lissa smirked. "You were with Abe. Of course you have better stories."

"Probably none that you want to hear," I laughed. "Mob stories tend to be a bit depressing." A guardian standing a few feet away snickered under his breath. I quickly changed the subject. "So, we're leaving soon, huh? What's the countdown at?"

Lissa sighed. "Two days."

"You don't sound as gung-ho as you did last month."

Lissa was quiet. "It's just now hitting me, I guess. All the changes. Everything that has happened, everything that will. I'm leaving Christian and all that I'm familiar with."

"Not me!" I chirped. "I'll be right by your side."

A smile cracked over her face. "Thank God for that." She hesitated, and then asked, "How did Jill seem?"

I bit my lip. Lissa seemed fragile right now. Was it the time to be honest with her, or sugarcoat it?

"It's a beautiful campus," I said. "And she's in good hands. She's got Sydney, and Eddie, and Adrian is there with her." Without thinking, I threw in brashly, "It could be a hell of a lot worse."

Lissa grimaced. Her look of disapproval turned into one of glee, however, when a shadow appeared behind me.

"Well, well, well," Christian snickered, moving to put his arm around Lissa. "Welcome home."

Christian's guardian came to stand beside me. We could have greeted each other the way we were both yearning to, but a simple brush of our fingers would suffice for now. Dimitri's shadow loomed over mine.

"I know Sparky missed me," I commented. "It's written all over his face."

"The royal meetings definitely weren't the same without your snickering every five seconds," he said. "Lissa _actually _got things done."

I stuck my tongue out at him. The guardian standing a few feet away from Lissa approached her, leaned in, and quietly whispered something to her. She nodded once, and then her eyes quickly darted to me. Never before had I wanted to badly to know what was going through her head.

"What's up?" I asked her as the guardian resumed his post. Lissa shrugged nonchalantly and said, "Just an appointment reminder."

I frowned. "Since when are the guardians your personal assistants?"

Christian interjected, "Oh please, you're just jealous."

I glared at him, mostly because he had nailed it right on the head, and now I had lost any footing in the battle.

Lissa stepped in to play mediator. "Relax, Rose. It's not a big deal. Guardian Ledovskoy is going to take me to the meeting so you can resettle. Consider today your day off."

"That's hardly fair," I said. "I've already spent some of it working." I bit back the worry that was nagging in my gut. Was I being paranoid, or was Lissa hiding something?

Lissa grinned. "Get packing. If I know you, you'll want to take your whole closet."

I stuck my chin up. "That was the old Rose. Guardian Rose knows how to pack accordingly."

Christian snorted. Lissa cracked a small smile, and said, "Well I like the old Rose better, so get moving. I'll see you tomorrow morning?"

"Bright and early," I agreed and stepped aside as Lissa and Christian started back inside. Dimitri began to follow, his fingers brushing mine again longingly, but Christian said, "Smooch and gush already. Lissa and I will stand right inside the glass doors so you can see us. Just stop trying to be all covert about it."

I glanced at the other guardian, not daring to do as Christian said. Lissa took control and snapped her fingers, demanding, "Everyone out." At least three veiled guardians quickly evacuated the garden. Then Dimitri's and my charges slid the glass door shut and turned their backs to us, though they never left our peripheral vision.

I grinned as I stood on my tiptoes to touch his lips. "They try so hard."

Dimitri smiled back, running his fingers through my hair. "I missed you."

He seemed too serious for joking. Instead, I winked and said, "Wanna reconnect tonight over dinner?"

Dimitri's grin widened. "I'll cook."

My stomach growled in anticipation. "I'm holding you to that."

Dimitri's face looked shadowed. I began to ask him what was wrong when my cell phone chirped in my pocket. I groaned, but paused when I saw it was my a Pennsylvania area code. Lehigh. This couldn't be good.

"Guardian Hathaway, this is Guardian Locke from Lehigh University. You and the Queen will be arriving in a few days, and we still haven't had a chance to talk security measures."

I bid a silent farewell to Dimitri and then stepped aside to carry on the conversation with Guardian Locke. I had read about her during my study of Lehigh University. She was the head of the Moroi community on campus, keeping track of who enrolled, where they resided, and what classes they took. She organized a place for feedings and kept a Moroi doctor on call in case of emergencies. So far, she had successfully kept Moroi out of danger there and had kept their true beings hidden from the humans.

We eventually sorted everything out. Lissa and I would room together, and then we would have four more guardians rooming on either side of us. We would all be enrolled in the same classes, except for one class a week when Lissa's regular six guardians (myself included) would be temporarily replaced so that we can get to the gym to keep up with our training. There would be more guardians posted around campus to ensure no surprise attacks, and Lissa would have no choice but to be accompanied by at least one guardian at all times. (We agreed that nine times out of ten, that would be me.) Lissa was allowed 24/7 transportation to the nearest private helipad where her private copter would wait for whenever she needed to get back to Court, be it for a meeting, a speech, or anything else that may come up. Guardian Locke and I ended the conversation with an agreement to meet in person as soon as Lissa and I arrived on campus.

When I turned around, I was alone in the garden. After traipsing through the manor, I saw that Christian and Dimitri had disappeared, and Lissa was deep in a meeting, so I took her advice and went back to my wing. I changed into gym clothes and ran there, eager to start kicking again.

The other guardians there didn't go out of their ways to welcome me back from California. I wasn't unaware of my unpopular status—half of the guardians still thought I killed Tatiana, and the other half thought that I was an ungrateful brat who didn't deserve to bear a promise mark. The bitter half of me wanted to rub my tattooed neck in their faces—I bet not one of them had as many _molnija _marks as I bore.

But the responsible guardian in me decided to turn the other cheek and ignore them just as studiously as they ignored me.

As I assaulted the punching bag, I felt a small ache in my chest as I realized that Eddie would no longer be here with me to train or joke around or play anymore. Lissa was right—everything was changing.

Soon she and I would be on our way to college, while Dimitri and Christian held down the fort at Court, and Eddie was across the country with Lissa's newly discovered half-sister and Adrian, who had gone from being almost inseparable from me to avoiding me as meticulously as these damned guardians did.

I delivered one last punch, breathless, and then took off the gloves and retreated to the track out back. I did a quick stretch and then started my forty laps.

Forty-five minutes later, I stretched and then greeted my shower, washing off sweat and grime and stress. By the time I was out of the shower, the smell of something absolutely delicious wafted up to meet me.

"You're home early," I greeted Dimitri, who was standing at the island, chopping vegetables. I leaned in to kiss him, and then asked, "Whatcha cooking?"

"Homemade pizza," he said.

My stomach growled. "How long until it's ready?" I couldn't resist demanding. As much as I longed to reconnect with Dimitri in the way we both yearned for, I was just as desperate to eat his food.

Dimitri laughed, a sound caught somewhere between amusement, exasperation, and a growl, but said, "Probably another hour at least."

I gnawed on my lower lip, wondering if we could last that long. Then I decided that we could, it would just be challenging. But that pizza sounded delectable.

"So tell me about the last two days. Lissa's description was boring as hell."

Dimitri was quiet, suddenly absorbed in chopping.

"Comrade?" I prompted.

"What the Queen said was true," he said quietly. "Nothing noteworthy happened."

I narrowed my eyes. "Are you all lying to me?"

Dimitri brought his depthless eyes to mine. "No." He said, his voice flat but firm. With that, I dropped the subject and moved onto something else.

"Well, you may have had a boring time, but I certainly didn't at Palm Springs. It was a crazy gathering, and there couldn't have been a more awkward mix of people there."

As I launched into details of my trip, Dimitri slowly started grinning and laughing again. I kept my stories going until the pizza was ready, and then we ate together (more like we scarfed our food down)…and then we were upstairs and reconnecting. For the rest of the night.

* * *

><p>CPOV<p>

Lissa and I sat across the table from each other, silently munching on food that wasn't actually satisfying our cravings for blood. We were scheduled to visit the feeders tomorrow, but stress had made us need it sooner.

Things were tense between Liss and me. We had a silent agreement not to bring up the other night, even though a million questions and concerns burned on my tongue. The most important, however, the one question that I was willing to disregard our silent agreement for, was why Lissa refused to tell Rose.

The smart part of me knew that telling Rose was the only way to keep Lissa safe—both physically and mentally. If nothing else, Rose knew how to talk Lissa through the darkness. And I knew that Dimitri was right; Rose had a right to know. Keeping her in the dark about Lissa's relapses put her in just as much danger as it did my girlfriend.

But the loyal part of me wanted to stand by Lissa and respect her decisions. If she believed that she could work through this on her own, I wanted to support her rather than convince her that I didn't believe she was strong enough. I still wanted to believe that she _could _handle this.

I was torn.

Lissa was the one to break the tense silence. Her voice was bright, though I could hear how forced it was. She was nervous. As though she had read my thoughts, she said, "I pulled through the darkness today."

I cut my eyes to her, more sharply than I had meant to. She flinched, but went on, "It was during the meeting I was in this afternoon. I was getting so stressed and so frustrated—they were just so stubborn and rude!—and I could feel it starting to manifest. My head started aching and my vision started blurring and I could feel the blood pounding—" She choked, gauging my reaction, which I had kept carefully blank, and then slowly concluded, "I excused myself, took a few deep breaths, and talked myself through it."

I looked down at her wrists. They were still bandaged, but at least there were no blood stains anymore. I resisted the urge to demand that she take off the bandages to prove to me that she hadn't resorted to drastic measures.

"Christian," she pleaded, anguish plain in her voice. "Please don't be angry anymore. You acted normal around me for the first time since…_then_…when we saw Rose in the garden today."

I couldn't hold it back any longer. "Lissa, I'm not angry. I want to know why you're so against telling Rose that the darkness is so bad."

Lissa seemed to struggle with the words. "I don't want her to worry. She's already stressed enough."

"She's your _guardian_," I snapped. "She's supposed to be worried about you."

Lissa flinched again, so I finally softened my tone. "I love you, Lissa. _I _worry about you. I just wish you would trust Rose again…she knows how to help you through this. It would be better for everyone if you lifted this ban you put on me and Dimitri from telling Rose. You should tell her yourself."

Lissa's face hardened. She straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin. "I can do this, Christian. I proved it today, and I'll keep working on it. If it gets worse, I'll go to Rose. But right now I need to learn how to handle this on my own, and _I can_. I just need the chance."

With a sigh, I realized I was fighting a losing battle. At least I could convince myself at this point that she wasn't completely wrong. If she had pulled through it today, like she had said, maybe there really was hope for her.

I couldn't be the one to hinder her. I would agree with her to her face, but I would keep an eye on her…and if things got worse, I would go to Rose.

No matter what.

* * *

><p><strong>Hmm. So Rose is still in the dark. Don't think that's a good thing for when the two of them are stuck together at Lehigh... Is it going to have the dire consequences that everyone is afraid of?<strong>


	4. The Nightmare

**Ha! Look who was on their game this week! ;) Two chapters in almost as many days...I'm quite proud of myself.**

**I hadn't actually planned to leave the chapter like this, but I thought that you would appreciate _something_, so I focused on getting it out sooner rather than later. This one has more drama in it... an interesting introduction to Lehigh, for sure.**

**Please review! Last chapter only got a few reviews, so I'm worried I've lost a fan base for this story. Thanks!**

* * *

><p>CHAPTER 4<p>

I felt like we were overdoing the pink.

When I first walked into where Lissa and I would be spending the next four years, the dorm room was a bitter slap in the face compared to my personal wing that I had been living in for the past several months.

Compared to the several hundred square foot luxury that I had been exposed to, this tiny box was pathetic. Lissa was excited about it, though, so I kept my complaining to a minimum. I didn't want to bum her out.

But now I was a little overwhelmed myself, because all of a sudden she was uncharacteristically prone to pink. Pink bedspreads and duvets were on both small cots, a pink curtain closed off our shared closet (which may have just been the worst part of this whole dorm room), and Lissa even wanted to invest in a fuzzy pink beanbag chair to put in the one free corner of our room.

"What has gotten into you?" I finally burst when Lissa tried to set up a pink picture frame on her desk. "What is with all of this _pink_?"

Lissa frowned. "What's wrong with it?"

I gaped. "Since when did you become a Barbie doll, Liss? Pink is a great color for you, and you wear it well, but all this?" I gestured around the room. "You may be going a little overboard. What happened to your other colors, like blue and that really pretty green that matches your eyes?"

Lissa pouted for a moment, but then conceded. "Maybe you're right. This is a bit too much pink. And it's not your best color, either."

"Thanks," I drawled.

A call and twenty minutes later, all of the pink had been removed and replaced with a new myriad of colors that were much better suited to both of our complexions.

Lissa and I checked in with Guardians Mernowsky and Pike on our left and Guardians Calleigh and Kruz on our right. I was the youngest of all of them, even if only by a year or two, but they all looked young enough to fit in easily. I enjoyed their company more than most, mainly because they didn't seem to judge me for past mistakes. They had accepted that I was the Queen's guardian, and if she trusted me, it didn't matter if I had a spotty record. They respected me and trusted my judgment just as Lissa did.

They agreed to cover Lissa's security while I excused myself to go meet Locke. The head guardian had an office in the faculty building, so I had to be discreet and act like a student on my way to see a counselor rather than a guardian on her way to talk business with a colleague.

I knocked when I found her office. Her name, Brianne Locke, was adorned on a gold placard on the door, which was open, and her office had family pictures on the wall. I wondered if she really did put up pictures of a family, or if they were falsified simply to help her fit in better in this human world.

Guardian Locke was at her desk, plucking away at a laptop. She stood up when I entered, not looking surprised in the least. I expected this. I was sure that she had heard immediately when Lissa and I had arrived on campus, and I knew that she had heard my footfalls with her enhanced dhampir hearing long before I had reached her doorway.

Locke was a tall, thin woman with long blond hair like Lissa. Her eyes were a dark brown, warm when she first smiled at me, but cool and hard as we discussed business. Upon further inspection, I noted that Locke was thinner than I had expected, though I belatedly understood why. She lived a much less demanding life than most dhampirs, and her training was probably much less intense due to the different lifestyle.

Closing the door behind me, I strode forward to her desk. I extended my hand, introducing myself as Guardian Hathaway.

"I trust that you and the Queen are satisfied with your accommodations?"

I bit back a tirade of complaints about the tiny hole that we were in. This was college, not Court, and their budget probably didn't have an allotment set aside for luxuries for the vampire queen. Instead, I nodded briskly. "The security will be easy to enforce. I appreciate your work with the surrounding rooms, as well." Guardian Locke had pulled strings to ensure that all of the guardians—especially those on the same floor as Lissa—had rooms that had easy accessibility to reach Lissa's and my dorm in a short time.

Locke handed me a manila folder. I flipped through it, discovering several copies of schedules and campus maps.

"As you and I discussed over the phone, at least four guardians—but usually more—will be enrolled in all of the same classes as the Queen. All of the respective schedules have been printed, and all classes with the Queen have been highlighted so that you and your fellow colleagues can collaborate together."

I gave another brisk nod, shutting the manila folder and tucking it under my arm. "The feeding building is located where on campus?"

Tugging another campus map out of her desk drawer, Locke traced a route from the dorm building where Lissa was staying to the feeder building just across the street. I extended another thanks for her consideration to Lissa's proximity to the feeders.

"I would encourage the Queen to try to participate in extracurriculars led by Moroi rather than humans. Though I'm sure there will be a few clubs that our intellectual leader will be interested in, I would recommend that she try to stay as segregated from the human realm of Lehigh as she can. With her high standing in the vampire world, all it takes is one misstep by anyone, and our secrecy could be compromised."

I resisted gnawing on my bottom lip. Great. Now I had to try to keep Lissa away from a certain something. With Lissa, the forbidden fruit always tasted the sweetest. I guess she was kind of like me in that respect.

"My door is always open if you need anything else," Locke said. "You have my personal number so you can always reach me." She gave me two more numbers of fellow dhampir faculty that could help if we needed anything.

While I walked back to find Lissa, I called Dimitri. Lissa and I had to adjust to a human schedule for a human college, so six o'clock in the evening here meant close to six in the morning back at Court. I took a gamble that Comrade would be awake already, but lost. He was probably in the shower before resorting to Christian's side for the day.

I hung up dejectedly and returned to the dorm's activity center, where Lissa was sitting on the couch, flanked closely by Mernowsky and Kruz on either side of her. She looked uncomfortable, to say the least, and she kept glancing around at all of her peers who were chatting amiably and playing pool and joking around with friends.

When she saw me, she leapt up and nearly attacked me. Kruz and Mernowsky didn't move, but their eyes followed Lissa's every move acutely.

"Thank God you're back!" Lissa whispered. "I like these guardians, but they're not nearly as socially inclined as we are. It's going to be a challenge getting them to open up."

I hesitated. Was Lissa suggesting what I thought she was?

"Lissa," I started, "We're going to have to fly under the radar nowadays." I watched the underlying excitement fade from her eyes. I began to miss the reckless Rose as I continued, "No parties, no late night slumber parties with new friends, no craziness…"

Lissa's face contorted into a bitter scowl. "Can I even make new friends, or am I stuck with you people for the rest of my life?"

I flinched, shocked, but only grew more concerned when I realized the familiarity of darkness. Before I had a chance to talk her down, she stalked away angrily.

I motioned to Calleigh, who was loitering around the vending machine, to follow Lissa. I had a feeling she didn't want me to bother her at the moment, even though I wanted to track her down and pull the darkness right out of her.

It was times like these when I cursed that damned bond for being gone.

I checked my phone again, noting the ten minute advance in time, and tried Dimitri again. This long-distance relationship was going to be a pain in my ass, especially if I missed him this badly the whole time we were here.

This time he answered though, and I heard the worry in his voice. "Roza?"

"Hey Comrade," I said through a sigh. "Don't worry, nothing's wrong. I just needed to hear your voice."

There were a few heavy seconds of silence, and then he said, "That makes me think something's wrong."

I bit back a small smile. He did know me well. "Lissa had a…_darkness relapse_." I didn't know how else to word it. By Dimitri's silence on the other end, I wondered if I hadn't conveyed my message. "Dimitri?"

"I'm here. What happened?"

"Well, I told her that she had to lay low here, you know, not too much fraternizing with the humans and what not, and she got really pissed off about it."

"She didn't do anything irrational, though?"

"I mean, she stormed off. But not anything awful, no." There was no response. "Dimitri?"

"I'm here," he repeated. "But I have to go. I'll call you tonight when I'm off duty."

"Be safe," I said, then shut the phone. With a grunt, I texted Calleigh to find out where Lissa was. It was time to talk to her about this, whether she wanted to or not. When I found out they were back in the dorm room, I made my way there, walking quickly enough that I couldn't be accused of dragging my feet, but not running fast enough to get me there immediately.

I knocked before entering, even though the room was technically mine, too. I felt partially guilty for setting her off. I should have been gentler.

"Liss?" I asked, nudging my way inside. "Can I come in?"

I heard a sniffle. "Yeah. I'm on my bed."

I went and sat beside her. Calleigh exited, ducking out of a shadow where I hadn't even initially noticed her.

"Look, Liss—" I began, but she cut me off. "I'm sorry, Rose. I never should have overreacted like that. I didn't mean to; it was the darkness—"

"Stop it," I said. "I know it was the darkness, and I don't blame you for it. But you need to let me talk you through it, Lissa. You can't harbor it, and you can't act it out. There needs to be another outlet."

She nodded. A moment passed, and then she whispered, "You'll be here, right? You'll be here to talk me through it?"

I wrapped my arms around my best friend. "Always," I told her.

She wrapped her small arms around me, too. "Thank you, Rose. I don't know what I would do without you."

I pulled away and poked her nose. "Lucky for you, you'll never have to find out."

* * *

><p>That night we fell asleep really fast. Switching to the human schedule was exhausting enough, not to mention the sudden excessive sun exposure to Lissa. I was asleep only moments after I heard her rhythmic breathing across the room.<p>

Part of me was still getting used to not being called into spirit dreams. I had spent so long being summoned by Adrian while my head was on a pillow that it sometimes surprised me when I didn't see his smiling face after feeling my body succumb to slumber.

But despite not being pulled into a spirit dream, I still got a regular one. And it wasn't all pleasant.

It started with Dimitri, which made me smile. He and I were together, back in that beautiful little cabin I had dreamt about when I was in Russia with his Strigoi counterpart.

_"Rose," came Dimitri's velvety laughter, approaching around a corner. "We're going to be late. I think it's frowned upon for the maid of honor to be late to her best friend's wedding."_

_ I caught a glimpse of myself in the vanity mirror. My hair fell in delicate curly tendrils, framing a face made up with subtle hints of cosmetics. I was in a floor length wine-colored gown, slim-fitting and strapless, with a sheer scarf draped over my shoulders. I stood, calling back, "I think Lissa would invoke her queenly power and sentence me to the dungeon if I dared be late to her wedding."_

_ Dimitri, dressed in a stunning black tuxedo, leaned casually against the doorjamb as I turned to face him. He grimaced at my reference to the dungeon—we were both still plagued by nightmares about our times of solitude in the cells—but simply gestured toward the hallway._

_ "Roza," he cooed as I passed, dipping his lips below my ear._

_ "Oh no, no, no," I laughed, skittering away from him. "I know that voice. That means we really _will_ be late!"_

_ Dimitri laughed and linked his hand through mine, following me through our house and out to the car. As usual, he drove, but we traveled in dream-time, which meant we were almost immediately at the chapel where Lissa's wedding was taking place._

_ Dimitri and I waltzed into the chapel, laughing, kissing, as happy as we could be. I let go of his hand to pull open the grand double doors to the chapel, welcoming the glow of the sparkling stained glass, but emitted a small shriek when Christian ran at me from the altar._

_ "What the hell, Sparky?" I snapped, jerking as he grabbed hold of both of my arms. His ice blue eyes were wide, but I couldn't define the emotion in them. _

_ I felt Dimitri's protective presence step closer. "Christian?" he demanded of his charge. "What's going on?"_

_ That's when I felt how sticky his hands were on my arms. I pulled away, my stomach rolling at the amount of blood on his clothes—and how much of it he had just put on me. I brought my eyes back to his, instantly putting the pieces together. _

_ "Where's Lissa?" I demanded._

_ "Rose…" Christian mumbled numbly._

_ "Where's Lissa?" I barked, shaking him. "Damn it, Christian, where is she?" In retrospect, I felt very guilty for cursing in church. Not that it wasn't the first time I'd done it before._

_ He simply pointed, a monotonous move that eerily reminded me of my brief interactions with the ghosts. I took off in that direction though, clutching my dress away from my racing feet, barreling through doors and passageways until I _felt _that I was close to Lissa._

_ The bond may have been gone, but we had been a part of each other for so long that I don't know if it ever truly disappeared. Now that she was in distress, I could feel her getting closer…closer…_

_ "Lissa!" I cried, and her whimper led me past the last corridor and right to her side._

_ She was curled up in the corner, her pearly white dress stained crimson. The bare parts of her flesh were covered in blood, it was in her hair, and she was sitting in a pool of it. _

_ I gasped. I didn't know where to start. It looked like she had been drained. I wondered if she had any blood left in her._

_ "What happened?" I demanded, grabbing towels and beginning to sop up the mess. When I kneeled before her, my silky dress slipped in the slimy liquid and I pitched forward, but my palms caught me before I catapulted into Lissa. She didn't respond, so I shouted angrily, "_What happened_?"_

_ She shook her head, tears streaming down her face, leaving tracks in the blood spatter. Her body quaked, and I inspected her helplessly, looking for a source of the blood. I couldn't tell through how drenched she already was._

_ "Please, Liss," I begged. "I don't know how to help you."_

_ "It was the darkness," she murmured. "Always there. Always hurting." Her eyes turned hard. "You weren't there to help me. Never there."_

_ I stumbled over words, tears beginning to leak out of my own eyes. "What? Lissa…"_

_ Her eyes began to close, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, shaking her. "No! No, you don't get to die on me!"_

_ Then her eyes shot open and her arms extended sharply. At first I thought she was attacking me in her stupor, so I went to deflect. Then I saw her wrists. The gashes were inflicted so deeply that I wondered if she had severed the bone. With every bit more effort she exerted, more blood bubbled out of her open wounds. _

_ I screamed again, but before I could help her, my body jarred me out of the nightmare._

I sat up breathlessly, my heart pounding, beads of sweat slowly rolling down my forehead. A few stray hairs stuck to my face, and I swatted at them impatiently, trying to calm myself down.

I glanced over at Lissa's bed, trying to reassure myself that it was just a nightmare. Only her bed was empty.

Then my heart really started beating. My head swirled and I leapt out of bed, ready to bang on the other guardians' doors and start a full-blown search party, but I was stopped short when the door opened and Lissa came in, tugging at her sleeves.

I took only a second to breathe, letting relief wash over me, and regroup. Then I pounced.

"Where the hell were you?" I snapped ferociously.

Lissa's eyes were wide. "I went to the bathroom," she said. "Guardian Kruz went with me."

I let that soothe a bit of my rage, but then I noted that she had changed out of the tank top she had gone to sleep in and instead wore a long-sleeved shirt over her pajama pants.

"Why did you change?" I demanded, taking a step forward.

Lissa's face was contorted in bewilderment. "I was cold," she said in perplexity. "Rose, what's going on?"

I jerked my chin towards her wrists. "Let me see your wrists."

"Rose!" Her defenses were finally kicking in, and I saw the anger dance over her features. "What the hell—"

I grabbed one of her hands and forced her sleeve up, bracing myself to see the fresh, puckered scars I had once seen regularly. Instead, her skin was pale and soft, with no trace of scarring at all.

I dropped her arm like it was on fire and stumbled back, my jaw slack. I forced myself to breathe, now completely in belief that that nightmare had been just that, a nightmare, and nothing more.

"Shit, Lissa, I'm sorry—"

Lissa jerked her sleeve back down with a scowl on her face. "What the hell was that about, Rose?"

I rubbed my forehead, my mouth still not cooperating. Rose Hathaway, rendered speechless. "I had a nightmare," I stammered.

"So you attacked _me_?" Lissa hissed.

"I was worried about you—" I cut myself off.

Lissa's face softened suddenly, and she took a step closer to me. "Rose, I'm not this fragile little girl anymore. I'm not the teenager that you had to break out of St. Vlad's with. I'm stronger. I've lived through so much."

I watched her, realizing that there was truth to her words, even if she was somewhat deluding herself, too. "The darkness…"

Lissa stiffened slightly, but I saw her relax just as quickly. "I can handle the darkness, Rose. All I need is a little time and discipline, and I'll be fine. I _am _fine."

I nodded numbly, still shocked at my gross overreaction.

Lissa led me back to my mattress and tucked me in like I was five years old, and then slowly retreated back to her bed. Before I closed my eyes, I heard her repeat, "I can handle the darkness."

A shiver rocked through my body, and I decided I couldn't go back to sleep tonight. That nightmare put me on edge, and I suddenly wasn't trusting my instincts. If I couldn't trust my instincts, what did I have left?

What if the bond had kept me just as sane as it had Lissa? What if I was starting to lose it now that I didn't have a way to balance this out? We had spent so long believing that allowing me to continue taking the darkness from Lissa was going to hurt me terribly in the long run, but now I was wondering if, since I had lived with it so long, maybe it was a part of me? And that part of me had just been ripped away. Could that have consequences of its own?

I heard Lissa shift in her bed, and I realized I _had _to sleep. I had to have energy to be on my game to keep Lissa safe. We were in a new environment, which meant a million more dangers to watch out for.

So I slowly shut my eyes, blocking out all thoughts of craziness versus sanity and the power the darkness had in it, and instead focused on the part of the dream that had made me happiest. _Dimitri._

I couldn't call him, despite it being perfectly within his time zone, because of my shared room with Lissa. So instead I settled for visualizing, and my imagination somehow managed to coax me into a deep sleep for the rest of the night.

* * *

><p><strong>That nightmare was something! I hadn't even planned it - it just took over and wrote itself. But there were some interesting thoughts in there... did you see any hints in the nightmare to some upcoming problems, maybe? What do you think about Rose's hypothesis about the darkness? Maybe Lissa isn't the crazy one...<strong>


	5. The Attack

**School starts in two weeks! It's crunch time.**

**I'm going to try to get as much out to you guys as possible, but between the crunch for more hours at work, preparing for school coming back, and the crunch in my personal life, I would warn you to prepare for the worst. I'm going to do my best though!**

**I hope you like this chapter. I didn't really have a direction for it, so I don't think it's one of my best. I'm sorry.**

**Please review! **

* * *

><p>CHAPTER 5<p>

_So I slowly shut my eyes, blocking out all thoughts of craziness versus sanity and the power the darkness had in it, and instead focused on the part of the dream that had made me happiest. _Dimitri.

_ I couldn't call him, despite it being perfectly within his time zone, because of my shared room with Lissa. So instead I settled for visualizing, and my imagination somehow managed to coax me into a deep sleep for the rest of the night._

Or maybe just a deep sleep for the next hour. Because after that, I was wide awake, and my mind couldn't get off that nightmare.

I started over-thinking its meaning and everything about it. Was I unhappy? I hadn't thought about Dimitri and our secret cabin since Russia. Was I subconsciously worried about Lissa? Without the bond, I had definitely been more paranoid about her health and safety. Was that dream, God forbid, some kind of premonition? Was I going to fail Lissa when she needed me most?

I was awake when Lissa stirred, but I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep so she wouldn't worry. I didn't know whether she was angry or scared about last night, but either way I didn't want to make it a big deal.

I let her adjust for a minute, and then sat up and yawned myself. "Morning," I greeted.

Lissa's face was painted with worry. "How did you sleep last night?"

"I'm fine," I insisted, trying to dodge her question and avoid any more from coming. "It was a bad dream and some pent-up paranoia gone awry."

Lissa didn't look convinced, but I didn't give her any time to argue. "Come on, let's shower and get to class."

I had to check the schedule that I had created to keep track of what guardians would be in what class with Lissa at all times, as well as where they would be when _not _with the Queen. According to it, I was not in Lissa's first class, which opened up my morning.

I found Pike in the hall and asked if she wanted to train with me this morning. Her eyes lit up like a Christmas tree, and for the first time, I realized just how homesick she may have been. I would have extended the offer to the other guardians on campus that weren't currently with Lissa, but I still wasn't held in the highest regard…

Instead, Pike and I trekked down the campus without talking to each other, taking stock of our surroundings. We had to know every nook and cranny of this place to ensure Lissa's safety, so our little detour was helpful.

When we reached the track, we simply started running. We didn't do a count-off, or set a certain number of laps to run. We didn't even keep pace with each other. Halfway through, it turned into an unspoken competition, and the race was intense. Pike was older than me and had had more years of training, but I had lived life in my eighteen years far more than she had in her twenty. My legs carried me farther and faster, despite her history and height, and I managed to get almost a full lap ahead of her.

According to the clock, we ran for an hour. In my mind, it was timeless. Running brought back memories of Dimitri—everything from training with him at St. Vladimir's to trying to escape his Strigoi counterpart in Russia—and at the moment, that was what I needed. I was still shaken by that nightmare, and I was hoping that these memories, the familiarity of training, the memory of that rocky success, would ground me again.

"Hathaway!"

Pike had yelled at me, but I hadn't needed her warning. My phone had beeped with the same emergency alert hers had, and I was only mere steps behind her as we took off back towards campus.

My heartbeat echoed in my ears as the memory of my nightmare pressed at the back of my eyes. _Lissa, her eyes wide, all that blood—_

My legs were shorter than Pike's, but my determination was stronger. I pushed through the building's doors and she was on my heels.

I reached for the bond, wishing it could somehow reestablish itself, just for the moment, so I could find Lissa. I hated this not knowing.

Pike and I ran into Mernowsky in the hallway, with two other male guardians flanking her.

"What happened?" I demanded immediately. We may all be equals in protecting Lissa, but I was still her best friend. I had to know _now_.

Mernowsky's face was taut. "There was another Moroi attack."

"Right now? On the Queen?" Pike asked, incredulously.

Mernowsky nodded tersely. "It was a fire user. He tried to light the Queen on fire, but thankfully missed and set her neighbor's backpack ablaze instead."

"Lissa's okay?" I pressed anxiously. "Where is she?"

"She was removed from the premises immediately and put under heavy guard in your dormitory room. Guardians Royce, Simms, and myself stayed to debrief you and also…" She trailed off, and I frowned. It seemed to strike me in her silence.

"Where is this Moroi?"

Mernowsky wet her lips uncomfortably. "Dead. The Queen…retaliated before we could."

Nerves lit up in my body. "Lissa killed them with spirit?"

Mernowsky simply nodded. I didn't take the minute that I needed to process this development, instead taking off in the direction of my dorm.

On some level, I was glad that Lissa had been able to handle protecting herself. She was getting stronger and learning to harness spirit more and more everyday. That was an accomplishment worth noting.

However, if she was able to use that power to _kill _someone? And if she was actually _exercising _it? The darkness had to be worse than she let on.

Lissa definitely was under heavy guard. I passed guardians on every floor, and when I reached ours, the watch doubled. There were three alone standing by the door, not counting the rest that were spread out through the hallway.

I was let through without a fuss since my face was so recognizable, but they wouldn't let me in the room without Lissa's permission.

I gawked. "This is my room, too!" I pushed through the guardians adamantly, and they didn't fight me (because Lissa gave them permission to let me in, I later learned).

Once she and I were alone behind closed doors (Kruz and Calleigh had evacuated the room once they saw I was with Lissa), I spun on her.

I managed to stay calm while I asked her what happened. I figured I needed to be her rock, to let her be hysterical and frantic and devastated over the last half hour while lending a supportive shoulder to cry on. It was her calm response that threw _me _into hysterics.

"There was another attempt on my life," she said with a straight face. She was sitting on her bed, legs crossed, plucking at a fuzzy pillow in front of her. "This Moroi used fire and tried to char me." Her gaze never wavered or changed emotion as she said, "I killed him."

I couldn't stop my jaw from dropping. "_What_?"

Lissa's expression finally changed to one of puzzlement. "Didn't they tell you? I thought you knew all the details."

"I _do_," I hissed, trying to rapidly sort through my frazzled, bipolar emotions. "I just—how come—why aren't you beside yourself?"

Lissa frowned. "What do you mean? I'm fine. He didn't hurt me at all."

"Yes, I know, but you _killed _him. Using _spirit_. Last time you channeled enough spirit to kill someone, I took it all and almost did the deed for you. And it was unpleasant and scary and I was sure as hell left shaken up. So why are you looking all happy-go-lucky, all-is-fine-and-dandy-in-the-world, I-just-killed-a-guy-no-big-deal?"

Lissa was silent. She kept her face carefully blank—her own guardian mask—and this was another one of those times that I started silently screaming for the bond to come back.

When I had taken the darkness from Lissa when she was trying to hurt Jesse, I had been on a rampage. I would have killed him if there hadn't been trained guardians there to stop me. And if it weren't for Dimitri, I don't know if I would have been able to snap out of it. Then there was Victor Dashkov, when there was no one there to stop me and the same urge came along. He didn't wind up as lucky as Jesse.

And even though Victor was a monster and the world was a better place without him, I still felt sick whenever I thought about what I did to him. The darkness made me lose control of myself and I turned into an uncontrollable monster.

So why wasn't Lissa at all disturbed by what she had just done? I mean, we're talking about the girl who discovered her powers trying to heal a freaking bird.

"I did what I had to do. I protected myself."

I collapsed onto the bed, still in shock. I didn't even know how to respond to that. Was I going crazy? All I could think about was that damned nightmare again, and Lissa on the floor with all that blood, saying, _"It was the darkness. Always there. Always hurting."_

"Maybe you're right," she finally said. "I killed someone. That's…hard."

I studied her. There was a strange timbre to her voice—not necessarily fakeness, but definitely not what I would call sincerity. When she met my eyes, she seemed to notice my scrutinizing gaze and her eyes widened.

"You don't believe me?" she asked incredulously.

And then I realized it was Lissa, and she simply had a different way of coping with things, and maybe detachment was how she was handling this now.

"No, I do," I quickly backtracked. "I just…how did it get to that point, Lissa?"

She flushed. "I just got so angry. It's not fair. I'm a good queen. Why is there a Moroi uprising against me? Everyone loved Tatiana and she was a royal bitch."

I flinched. That sounded like something I would have said, not Lissa.

"I just…it happened. I don't know how, but it did. And then chaos erupted around me and they had to tell me that I was the one who had killed him."

I handed her an extra pillow from my bed. "Here. Take a nap and…recover from this morning. I'll talk to Guardian Locke and figure out what to do."

Kruz went back into Lissa's room to sit with her once I left, and I noticed as I walked into the hallway that the obvious group of guardians had dispersed and were blending in better throughout the building. Lissa's guard was still high right now, but we weren't on lockdown anymore.

On my way to Locke's office, I called Dimitri. It was late for him, almost midnight vampire-time. I half-expected to miss him, but my heart leapt with relief when he answered on the fourth ring.

"Belikov," he said. He must not have glanced at the caller ID.

"Hathaway," I barked back.

There was only a second-long pause before he breathed, "Roza."

I don't think I would ever get tired of hearing him say my name. A part of me wondered if he felt the same way about his own nickname. "Hey, Comrade."

"How are things over there? Are you enjoying college life?"

"Oh yeah, the campus is gorgeous, the classes are fun, and you should see the hot frat guys that roam the campus."

Dimitri's silence on the other end of the line would have worried me if I hadn't heard Christian in the background, frantically demanding, "Hot frat guys?!" But then Christian's voice faded and Dimitri's voice strengthened and I realized he had walked into a different room.

"How are things at Court?" I asked before he could ask me another question about school.

"They're going. I've been staying with Christian more than usual lately, because there were a few threats that managed to reach him."

That was happening at Court, too? What the hell was going on with the Moroi community? There hadn't been an uprising this intense in…well, I don't know if there had ever been one!

"A Moroi tried to attack Christian?"

"Not physically. Christian's been getting letters detailing how this certain Moroi would _like _to attack him."

I groaned. "Jesus, this is worse than I thought."

"What?"

Oops, I hadn't meant to let that last part slip. Now I had no choice but to tell him. And since I was unloading all of my problems onto his shoulders, I might as well include my insecurities about the nightmare, too.

"All right," I sighed. "Let me start at the beginning."

* * *

><p>DPOV<p>

Needless to say, I was worried sick. Not only did Rose's dream have me completely discomforted, but the way she described Lissa's reaction had me greatly upset.

"What do you think that dream meant?" I asked, hating how I sounded like a shrink. I didn't want to sound generic and unhelpful. I wanted to have all of the answers for her.

"I don't know," she groaned. "Maybe I'm more worried about Lissa than I realized? This whole not-having-the-bond is throwing me for a loop, too, you know."

"I know," I said in my most soothing voice. I wanted nothing more than to gather her in my arms right then, and I ached with the fact that I couldn't. "Have you talked to her about it?"

Rose hesitated. I braced myself for the worst, wondering what new curveball she could throw my way. Did Lissa come clean about her cutting relapse?

"I kind of…attacked her after the nightmare."

My eyebrows shot up even though she couldn't see me. "_Attacked _her?"

She sounded sheepish on the other end. "Well, I went a little crazy and demanded to see her wrists. When she resisted, I may have been a little rough."

My breath caught in my throat. Had she seen the scars? "And?" I prompted.

"They were clean. Nothing, except the faint outline of the old, healed scars."

I scowled in confusion. What had Lissa done? How far had she gone to hide her weakness from Rose? And why the _hell _was she so against telling Rose, anyway?

Rose sighed on the other end, no clue what was raging through my own mind at the moment. "It was good news, though, so I can't complain. I think I worried her, though, which might have given the darkness a chance to move in—"

"Don't," I interjected quickly. "Don't blame yourself, Roza."

She sighed again. "It's hard not to. I was so used to taking it from her and being able to…_somehow _control it…now that I can't do _anything _to help her, it's frustrating."

"I know," I said quietly. I couldn't say anything else. I couldn't warn her like I wanted to, because it wasn't my place. I couldn't tell her that her instincts were right and that Lissa _was _on a horribly destructive path and that Rose needed to be aware and help her friend through it again as best she could without the bond.

When Rose spoke again, I thought I detected a smile in her voice. "There was one good part about that dream, though,"

"And what part was that?" I asked.

"The beginning," she said warmly. "It was you and me, and we were living together on our own in this amazing cabin."

She had left that part out in her first description.

I smiled. "I wish I could share that part of the dream with you. I don't like sleeping alone."

"Soon, Comrade," she said. "I'll be with you again soon."

After that we had to hang up, because she had reached the head guardian's office.

With an exasperated groan, I returned to where Christian was thoroughly enjoying his Wii.

He had gotten one shipped into Court after Lissa had left and he started complaining about how boring life had become without her. After the threats started rolling in, I advocated his new gaming system and even went as far as to make sure he got as many games as he wanted.

He was flicking the remote back and forth, and the motion translated into a swinging tennis racket on the television screen. When I walked in, he never took his eyes off the simulated game.

"So how many frat guys do I have to fight?" he asked as he swung forward, lobbing the ball into the row of oddly shaped characters.

I almost laughed. "Don't worry about frat boys," I told him. "Although I think it might be time to schedule a visit to Lehigh."

Christian paused the game, finally turning to face me. His face was alight with excitement. It was then that I saw how dearly he missed Lissa. His face creased as he asked, "Is something wrong?"

I should have told him the truth. It was only a matter of time before he found out anyway. But instead I shook my head and replied, "No. I just think it would do everyone good to have a little time with their significant other."

Christian moaned. "Oh, God, there _is _a frat boy, isn't there?"

This time I did laugh. "_No_," I insisted. "No frat boys."

"Just lonely girlfriends?" He perked up.

"Yes."

He powered down the system without finishing his game. "I'll go pack now."

"Slow down," I said. "I still have to talk to Guardian Croft about security measures and transportation." Not to mention concoct my own plan of attack…

Christian turned his game back on dejectedly. He grumbled under his breath. What I could finally make out sounded like this: "Way to be a fun-sucker."

I excused myself to go speak with Hans. I had a feeling Rose needed me now, and I wasn't going to repeat past mistakes. I wasn't going to ignore her and push her away.

I loved her too much.


End file.
